WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK
         
        I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
          A half-gallon of 2% milk,
          A carton of eggs,
          A quart of orange juice,
          A head of romaine lettuce,
          A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
           A 1 lb. package of bacon.
         
             As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt
        to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as
        I placed the items in front of the cashier.
         
             While the cashier was ringing up the purchases,
        the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
        I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I
        was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I
        was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the
        belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my
        selections that could have tipped off the drunk to
        my marital status.
       
            Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well,
        you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on
        earth did you know that?'

 

             The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'