HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed
when his
    wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed,
which she
    could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door
to go turn
    off the light but saw that there were people in the shed
stealing things.
    He phoned the police, who asked 'Is someone in your house,' and
he said
    'no.' Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he
should
    simply lock his door and an officer would be along when
available. George
    said, 'Okay,' hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police
again.
    'Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were
people
    stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry
about them
    now because I just shot them.' Then he hung up. Within five
minutes six
    police cars, a SWAT Team, a helicopter, two fire trucks, a
paramedic and
    an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the
    burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George: 'I
thought you
    said that you'd shot them!' George said, 'I thought you said
there was
    nobody available!'