Things For Sale:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER: 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.: Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG: Looks like a rat .. been out a while. Better be a reward.

COWS For Sale: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK: $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!: Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE: WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.